A guest post written by Kyle Larsen.
It’s that time again! Halloween is here! Pint-sized ghoulish goblins will be roaming the streets begging for sweet treats; while today’s modern survivalists’ and firearms enthusiasts’ thoughts turn to just one thing—zombies!
But not the tired list of the same ol’ zombie survival gear you’ve become numb to over the last 5 or 10 years. Let’s look at the lesser-known, but equally important stuff you know you’ll need, but probably forgot.
The Obvious: A Machete
First up—the obligatory machete offering. The Kershaw Camp 10. This fantastic 10-inch high-carbon tool steel blade not only takes an edge quickly and easily, but also holds its edge slicing thru massive zombie hordes and hacking thru legions of undead. It’s the right size for a last-ditch bladed melee weapon battling back gangs of brain eaters or clearing a path thru spooky remote swamps. And if the zombie apocalypse fails to materialize, it will function quite well clearing brush on your property, addressing mundane gardening chores or a myriad of camp duties in the field. You can tell your neighbors that’s why you bought it, but we know the real reason.
Now when you’re wandering around in that dark spooky swamp, it might help to know where you’re going. You can wander aimlessly like the cannibalistic shambling mounds you’re trying to avoid, but for the sake of argument, we are going to assume you want to get somewhere and get there fast. For that, you need a compass—something like this Lensatic Folding Compass might work. But me personally, I like a compass I can see in that gloomy dank swamp… in the dark… with no light…so I prefer the Lensatic Tritium Compass to stay on the move and off the buffet table. The nice part about a decent compass is that you can use it camping, hiking, or on a training hunt for when the zombie plague hits the planet. Win Win!
Fleeing armies of undead ghouls or actively evading mobs of vertically challenged trick-or-treaters is bound to take a physical toll on man and beast. That’s why every properly prepared survivor will have an adequately stocked first aid kit for you and your K9 companion. This Me and My Dog Adventure Medical Kit is just what you need when you are on the run. Treat everything from sprains and splinters to cuts and bruises on you and your best friend with this handy kit. But unfortunately, there’s nothing in this kit that will prevent infection from a zombie bite. So if that guy that nobody likes in your rag tag group of survivors gets infected…you know what you have to do.
It’s in the Water!
Have you ever noticed how fast the movie zombies seem to spread even when they are in far-off remote corners of the world with no contact with other zombies? I have. It keeps me up at night. Well, that and evil clowns… but anyway, I have a theory— it’s in the water! Protect yourself and your loved ones from waterborne zombie infestation with the ceramic water filter kit. In addition, in the unlikely event that your household is hit with a natural disaster prior to a zombie outbreak, you can rest assured you have everything you need to produce safe and clean potable water.
But that would never happen. It’s far more likely that the little hooligans down the street turn your water off and throw a pad lock on the meter after you give them survival toothbrushes on Halloween for the third year straight. When you accidentally break the waterline trying to cut the lock off and as you begin eyeing the kiddie pool, koi pond or turtle tank, you’ll be glad you have a back-up plan. In addition, this handy little gnome-sized Cold Steel Special Forces shovel will help you dig up that waterline for repair, or you can use it like a throwing ax Spetsnaz-style to help eliminate the zombie scourge.
Preventing Other Bites
We all know that if a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie. It’s a no brainer so to speak. But what if you get bit by a mosquito that bit a zombie? Due to the disease carrying nature of these annoying little blood suckers they will likely turn you and those you love into a brain eater if you don’t take proper precautions. Insect control is a must-have during any zombie apocalypse. ThermaCELL is the way to go. Tell your significant other that you need it for your next camping trip and they’ll love you for it.
Shed Some Light
As dusk approaches and darkness envelopes you in its icy clutches, you can hear the zombies approaching, groaning and shuffling along, but you can’t run if you can’t see them. And worse yet, if you fire up that high-lumen spotlight, (that you don’t have with you but should) they’ll be able to see you. Recent studies have shown that brain-starved zombies, much like many other animals, can’t see light beams in the green spectrum… or is it red? Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with all these new developments. Either way, we have you covered. Shed a little light on the subject with a Fenix flashlight that features multi-colored LED lights. If you’re traveling lightweight, on the move and fleeing thru the graveyard after an epic game of midnight Zombie ‘Whack-a-Mole,’ then go with this Fenix belt clip model. You can also use these lights to sneak up on the little brats soaping your windows for giving out pocket Constitutions on Halloween again. If you’re cool enough to give out Snickers bars and there’s no zombie in sight, these lights are great for silently making your way to a hunting stand in the dark. They also make an excellent signaling light in your vehicle emergency kit or bug-out bag.
The Best Bag
How do you carry all this stuff you ask? Simple—grab one of these durable MIL-TEC military-style backpacks. They make the perfect BOB or “In Case Of Zombies” emergency kit. Every member of the family should have an emergency go bag. In all honesty, my teenagers use them for school, proving beyond a doubt that these packs will stand up to anything. Even a zombie apocalypse. Moreover, in a zombie outbreak we’ll repurpose these backpacks real quick. As an alternative, you can dress your younger ones up as GI Joe and they can go door-to-door resupplying your critical candy stash with one of these packs.
And the Quickest Way to Get Rid of Zombies is…
Of course, no zombie survival article is complete without recommending a decent zombie gun and Cheaper Than Dirt! offers you what is possibly the best zombie gun on the market. Standard Manufacturing’s double barrel pump Shotgun—the DP-12. It provides 16 rounds of hard-hitting 12-gauge ammo at your immediate disposal in a double barrel in-line pump action. What more could you want in a zombie eradicating machine? This shotgun is also a fantastic choice for home defense when ghouls show up at 2:37 a.m. in March well after Halloween is long past. Home defense aside, I think the DP-12 was purpose-built for the zombie apocalypse!
That or an alien invasion, or an Evil Clown Circus…but that’s another blog post…
What other necessary zombie survival gear can you think of? List it in the comment section.
Kyle Larsen is an NRA and concealed handgun instructor who has a simple, practical approach to preparedness and outdoor survival skills.